A to Z Challenge 2013

Monday, March 7, 2011

Dealing With Failure And The Funk

I failed.

Yep, despite my weeks of studying and cramming for my test, I was not able to pass it.  I don't feel as bad as you might think though, since (according to my Student Mentor) most people don't pass it the first time.  For those unfamiliar with IT-type certification exams, failing is a common affair.  Don't get me wrong; most of the time I nail my certification exams with no problems.  But there are plenty of exams in the IT world that stump even the most brilliant of us.

One of the reasons for this failure rate is because these tests want you to know anything and everything that is possible within the realm of the tested subject.  Then they randomly ask you questions from this massive pool of possibility and you hope you can remember it all.  Incidentally, I've noticed that as I get older, pulling files from this mental file cabinet in a coherent manner is getting tougher and tougher.  The good thing though, is that I can re-take this test again soon and I should do fine.  I needed a 70 to pass and got a 63, so I'm not that far off.

Still, it wasn't the greatest way to start a weekend.  Then a good friend of mine had a personal tragedy that left me feeling extremely bad for him, and so I basically spent Sat evening in a funk.  No writing, no studying, just not wanting to do anything.  Sunday I chose to mindlessly lose myself in a game or two.  By late afternoon/evening, I lost myself in a book.  I actually felt bad about it because I was being fairly selfish.  My son wanted to play some games with me and I declined (something I rarely do).  I knew he really wanted to spend some quality time with dear ol' Dad, but I just didn't have the energy to do it and I also (knowingly being selfish) wanted to just be by myself for a time - even if I was really being with all the characters in the book.

So here we are at Monday and I'm reflecting on things.  I still feel a bit out of sorts, but I'm working on it.  I've got to get the test rescheduled asap, and I've got to make sure I'm ready for the next time.  I have only a rough idea (since they don't tell you what questions you missed) of what areas I need to study harder on, but I'm confident in my ability to overcome.  I need to check on my friend, though it's a very touchy, personal situation that I have no experience dealing with.  And I also have to continue working on papers for my next class (which thankfully have to do with the same subject matter as my test).

I realize lately I haven't been posting as much writing-type stuff as I have personal stuff, but I hope everyone will bear with me.  I continue to strive to get back on the writing train every day, and I really do appreciate all of you hanging in there as I sort myself out.  As has been said way too many times, the writing community members are some of the most awesome people in the world.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Bummer about the test. Cool thing about life - we only fail when we fail to try. Bet you pass it next time!

Icy Roses said...

Everyone needs some alone time. Feel better!

Cole Gibsen said...

Hang in there, Eric. I'm so sorry you've had a tough go of it lately. But it's okay to have a "you" day. And it's important that you know it's okay and NOT selfish. Everyone is allowed to charge their batteries.

Eric said...

Alex - Thanks dude. You got it right though. That's why we have to keep trying. And I'll get it done.

Icy - Heh heh, sometimes I worry that I like it a bit too much. I have to remind myself to interact with the world. I feel better already though, thanks to all of you.

Cole - Thanks. I appreciate the kind words. Not easy for me to take self-time where my boys are concerned. I worry bout mistakes, y'know. I doubt I've damaged him permanently though, huh?

And to all of you, thanks a bunch. It's you guys that help bring my smile back. Thanks alot.

Matt Conlon said...

The thing that is most unfair about those test (and any test for that matter) is that they require memorization... LIFE is open book, tests should be too. I can't begin to count the number of times I hit Google when looking for a solution, but it's at least a half dozen times a day.

I find myself craving solace by the end of the day. Constant social interaction wears one me. Sometimes I just need silence and lack of stimuli. I know it's unfair, but at a certain point, I just need to be alone with my thoughts. No one asking for anything, no one requiring response.

Hang in there, you'll get it. :)

JL Stratton said...

I feel your pain, brother. Of course, with pain, comes healing, and greater strength. I don't know much about the IT world - we use an IT guy at work, but I don't even know his name.

I have a different opinion on the funk than others. I feel you should go with it. Use the time to reflect and grow. If you are not writing at the very moment, you are still thinking, developing situations, plots, and characters within your head.

So, keep at it. If you fail, it's because you tried - and that's better than the alternative.

Best of luck to you as you work through this week.