Dialogue

A while back Elana had a post about dialogue, and it got me to thinking about my own abilities (or lack thereof) to use only dialogue to describe a scene. I have crafted the following scene with that in mind, trying to keep my descriptive sentences to a minimum.

"The necessity of vision in today's world demands you concede, my dear." His voice moved around, disorienting Kathryn.

"I'm still a human being, regardless of the law. You can play your damn games all day long, but you can't ignore that."

"Ahh, but indeed I can ignore that. You seem to forget where you are. You are nothing but a reminder of the frailty of humanity. The general populace doesn't need nor want you left alive. They have enough troubles to worry..."

"People hide their real thoughts because of you, because of your kind." She could hear his irritation rising, so she plunged on, "No matter how you paint it Garing, it's still prison. Just because they ignore the bars doesn't mean they don't see them."

He teased her right ear with a flick of his tongue, "I will enjoy watching my brethren consume you. You do realize we take our time with such things."

"You haven't managed enough stability here for such an outrage, and everyone knows I've been taken. If I don't reappear soon, your fragile control will shatter and you know it." The power in her voice did not mirror her frantically beating heart.

She could hear his grin, "Are you so sure that humanity is destined to be anything other than a slave race? This world was once owned by reptiles. It's only fate that the true rulers should return. Enjoy the silence of this room, Kathryn. Rest your voice. We enjoy the screams of our meals almost as much as the taste." The whispering sounds of his feet echoed in her mind long after the door hissed shut.


What are your thoughts about this excerpt? Does the dialogue flow nicely or is it hard to follow? Do you have some good visuals of what is going on or are there more questions than answers? Would this excerpt hook you enough to keep reading? And what could I do to improve on things?